Tuesday, 2 March 2010

Food for thought



The television show “Deadliest catch” depicts commercial crab fishermen in the Bering Sea. “Dirty jobs” shows all kinds of gruelling work; one episode showed a guy who inseminates turkeys for a living. The weird fascination for these shows must lie partly in the fact that such confrontations of material reality have become exotically unfamiliar. Many of us do work that feels more surreal than real. Working in an office you often find it difficult to see any tangible result from your efforts. What exactly have you accomplished at the end of any given day? Where the chain of cause and effect is opaque and responsibility diffuse, the experience of individual agency can be elusive. “Dilbert”, “The Office” and similar portrayals of cubicle life attest to the dark absurdism with which many Americans have come to view their white collar jobs.

Is there a more “real” alternative (short of inseminating turkeys)?
High school shop-class programs were widely dismantled in the 1990s as educators prepared students to become “knowledge workers”. The imperative of the last 20 years to round up every warm body and send it to college, then to the cubicle, was tied to a vision of the future in which we somehow take a leave of material reality and glide about in a pure information economy. This has not come to pass. To begin with such work often feels more enervating than gliding. More fundamentally, now as ever, somebody actually has to do things: fix our cars, unclog our toilets, and build our houses.

When we praise people who do work that is straightforwardly useful, the praise often betrays an assumption that they had no other options. We idolize them as the salt of the earth and emphasize the sacrifice for others their work may entail. Such sacrifice does indeed occur- the hazards faced by a lineman restoring power during storm come to mind. But what if such work answers as well to a basic human need of the one who does it? I take this to be the suggestion of Marge Piercy’s poem “To be of Use”, which concludes with the lines “the pitcher longs for the water to carry/and a person for work that is real.” Beneath our gratitude for the lineman may rest envy.

This seems to be a moment when the useful arts have an especially compelling economic rationale. A car mechanics’ trade association reports that repair shops have seen their business just significantly in the current recession: people aren’t buying new cars, they are fixing the ones they have. The current downturn is likely to pass eventually. But there are also systemic changes in the economy, arising from information technology, that have the surprising effect of making the manual trades- plumbing, electrical work, car repair – more attractive careers. The Princeton economist Alan Blinder argues that the crucial distinction in the emerging labour market is not between those with more or less education, but between those whose services can be delivered over a wire and those who must do their work in person or on site. The latter will find their livelihood more secured against outsourcing to distant countries. As Blinder puts it “you can’t hammer a nail over the internet”. Nor can the Indians fix your car because they are in India.

If the goal is to earn a living, then may be it isn’t really true that 18-year-olds need to be imparted with a sense of panic about getting into college (though they certainly need to learn). Some people are hustled off to college and then to a cubicle, against their own inclinations and natural bents, when they would rather be learning to build things or fix things. One shop teacher suggested to me that “in schools we create artificial learning environments for our children that they know to be contrived and undeserving of their full attention and engagement. Without the opportunity to learn through the hands, the world remains abstract and distant, and the passions for learning will not be engaged,”

A gifted young person who chooses to be a mechanic rather than to accumulate academic credentials is viewed as eccentric, if not self destructive. There is a pervasive anxiety among parents that t here is only one track to success to their children. It runs through a series of gates controlled by prestigious institutions. Further there is wide use of drugs to medicate boys, especially, against their natural tendency toward action, the better to “keep things on track.” I taught briefly in a public school and would have loved to have set up a Ritalin fogger in my class room. It is a rare person, male or female, who is naturally inclined to sit for 17 years in school, and then indefinitely at work.

The trades suffer from low prestige, and I believe this is based on a simple mistake. Because the work is dirty, many people also assume it is also stupid. This is not my experience. I have a small business as a motorcycle mechanic in Richmond, Va., which I started in 2002. I work on Japanese and European motorcycles, mostly old bikes with some “vintage” cachet that makes people willing to spend money on them. I have found the satisfaction of the work to be very much bound up with the intellectual challenges it presents. And yet my decision to go into this line of work is a choice that seems to perplex many people.


The above passage appeared in one of the mock-tests while I was preparing for CAT, but then later I found out it was published as an article in the New York Times Magazine, titled “The Case for Working With Your Hands” written by Matthew B. Crawford

The article posits a line of thought that is gaining popular attention especially in the developed world, apart from the US there was a similar article published in Chinese news paper editorial.

Let us, for a while, neglect the economic aspects, possibly relating to outsourcing of work etc, that support the theme of the author; From a reader’s point of view it asks of me two things: First, to think and attempt to justify my past deliberations in academic front and second, to realize the importance that satisfaction might lay in any kind of job that I am doing. Being a middle class Indian, I can visualize that the former of the two points is bound to suffer a clear justification as people need to think from the point of building up a family and thus, providing for the needs, which logically implies people have to go for the job that pays the most. But, in the haste of pursuing goals bound towards family-building (which we Indians prefer calling ‘getting settled in life’), the second point about satisfaction gets neglected.

Often people are too late to realize its gravity, which compels them change jobs at a later stage in life with much difficulty, while most of them, with the fear or pressure of added responsibilities never tread that path. So, the question is- How to choose among the ‘two options’ & what factors should contribute to what extent in choosing them? (I haven’t used the words like- success and happiness or money and peace of mind or cubicle and free lance, for their definitions can be different for different individuals…) Do share your views in this regard.

Thursday, 11 February 2010

Here we go again, doing what we do best...."Brag"

Why do we Indians always like to brag about stuff which really doesn’t count for even a nickel in the wider aspect of human life on earth? When will we learn to keep things in their proper perspective? There are numerous events I can recount to support my claim, I will begin with the most recent one which came in today’s newspaper...It was about India(DRDO) going to test its new Agni V missile carrier which is proposed to have a range of about 5000 km. It is really great that we are advancing in our defense preparations and also that people of India are made aware of its elaborate plans, but the two column quarter page article(including the sub heading) had the mention of China or a Chinese city at least 12 times...Now the only inference the article draws, to even a nincompoop reader is that we are at loggerheads with china, almost at the brink of war and we have come up with the miraculous bomb solely to attack China...and, the missile is indeed going to be our savior...thus! It calls for a celebration...Cheers!!

The article pin points the exact cities that we can hit in a manner that it is more or less done and the people of those unfortunate cities are no good than doomed from this moment itself. The argument gloats by assuring that the prime cities like Shanghai and Beijing had already been brought under our scanner’s reach years earlier with the development and successful testing of Agni III...so we needn’t worry in the first place...and now, on top of that we have gained command over the less significant ones too!, reaching the far northern cities like Harbin (names were clearly specified in the article) so raise a toast you guys, our job is done, China is tumbling in our pocket.

Do we fancy assuming a similar line of thought? Do Chinese also think the same way? We don’t know about them. Of course our relations have been a bit ruffled off late with the stone dropping incident and the speculation about nuclear-tech proliferation to Pak etc but we can not generalize based on the views of a handful of Chinese people...They too probably realize as most of us do, that there are better things in this world to engage ourselves into….things that would need co-operation rather than pointing guns at cities. With the reputation of being the most renowned newspaper and also being one of the largest ones in circulation, this article stains the image of ToI in the minds of a reasonable reader. They could have structured the information in a better way by making it less China centric.

The possible repercussions can be ruinous.

1. Wrong impression to the Indian people that this test, which btw is one whole year away from possible results of success, is purely capable to turn the war in our favor, if there happens to be a war in future. Even if it turns out to be successful, we will have a missile with a range of 5000km, where as China already has one with a range of 11,200 Km. hah!...give it maneuverability and it can drop dung heaps over all our cities in one go.

2. China has tested missiles that can bring down a communications satellite, in ‘07. We, on the contrary, have the nerve to discredit that thingy and believe it is pointless, justifying our stance in the wake of a galactic cause- “we don’t want to spoil the outer space with satellite debris, so we wont test any such thing”...its like avoiding a hot water bath because it fogs up the mirror.

3. China may react to this development and secretly build further terrible stuff which could cause destruction of catastrophic measures…It may even remove us from the topography of Asia.

4. Worse, It could give everything of its possession to ever zealous Pakistan who would enjoy providing us a meaner death. That would leave us feeling no less happy than a squashed roach...

5. What if the all-hyped test fails? We have surmountable evidence from the past assuring its possibility. Failure of first Agni III test, the speculation surrounding Pokharan II test revelations, the incompletion of the moon mission, procurement of inexplicably expensive old rugged re-furbished navy vessel from Russia, Bofors scandal, sabotaged or ill-fitted parts being used in the MiGs…etc to name a few. One day all this bolbachchan is going to pinch hard.

Besides these entire, why do we need such a mind inflicting article? For the sake of sanity, it is high time to realize that people do value a peaceful life. Articles such as these tend to assuage the reader’s thoughts with the writer’s. This also endorses an unrealistic behavior pattern which justifies that making an attempt-of-the-sort is relatively as credible as successfully accomplishing any task. Why brag aloud when there is no need…instead, smother ‘em quietly when the precise time arises…both, their damage and our adulation will be more.

Other instances of recent past which I can recount having a similar story was during the acquisition of the naval air craft carrier, and then there was one during the launch of the high-tech spy satellite which only 5 other nations had.

Citation: http://lite.epaper.timesofindia.com/getpage.aspx?pageid=15&pagesize=&edid=&edlabel=TOIM&mydateHid=11-02-2010&pubname=&edname=&publabel=TOI

Sunday, 3 January 2010

Random Thoughts

So starts a new year....2010!
This is an ad lib post...I just felt like writing something as I didn't have anything worthwhile to do....something big is supposed to have happened recently and I am missing some good company...so lets start talking

hmm....2010 seems like a lot cooler number than a lot of previous ones....may be because of the 2 zeros in it although it marks the beginning of a whole new decade but I find the zeros more facinating.....Cooler numbers bring a sense of anticipation as if they are destined to witness something great....huh! we’ll cee...

New years bring a time when people take a pause from their regular, hum-drum course of life for a few moments, and muse about....about a lot of things.......whether good or bad is immaterial.....One such thing amongst those happens to be the stark realization often coupled with dumbfounded amazement, that an entire yeeeaar has gone past.....but what the hell happened in the last 365 days of my life? Were the events any fruitful? How were they categorised...good? Bad? Did I waste my time? and not to mention a few of If-only-it-could-haves ultimately leading the entire thought process to a blind alley.......then suddenly, the inability to find a quick solution switches the situation to- 'OMG how come nobody told me that in the end each day counts and to make each day count each hour of a day should count'.....and so it goes....moving further in this direction I derive no pleasure...so ill conveniently shift focus.

As I happen to reel back the last 365 days of my life....I can recount a whole lot of new experiences...some of them I had never imagined that I’d be facing....’09, for me was packed with lots of things....good as well as bad....touching upon the emotional and psychological realms of my life...although I’d refrain from commenting about any accomplishment but at the end of the day I believe I stood having bettered my knowledge of the world and hopefully learned to keeping things in their perspective and It counts....damn! I wish I were better at writing philo stuff... x(

On maturity front ?.....It is my opinion that maturity has somewhat ambiguous definition...since it doesn’t have any achievable or satisfactory upper limit; but as a by-product of passing out numerous days of a year I believe to have been bestowed by some of it too...although personally I despise some aspects maturity....sometimes it acts as a veil concealing ones true self which probably longs for innocent childlike behavior...a classic display of venerated maturity by being a pretentious albeit acceptably well mannered bum isn’t one of the most fulfilling experiences...

Well....coming back to new year’s buzz....many of us also feel blessed by a brand new chance to better ourselves from the past....Yup! despite of the fact that it was just an ordinary Thursday that passed by giving rise to an ordinary Friday and not the 1st of another year....It is surprising to see how human virtues are often influenced (if not driven) by periodic events hyped up by their own selves....Common sense! may intervene here by arguing that ‘why the hell bother as long as it works??’

Hmm....this concept of making an ordinary looking Friday a not so ordinary one, also derives support by the permitting people to make resolutions.....any number of them, unrestricted, as unquestionable as they please....even unwarranted for conforming to ethical or social conduct.....If you are famous you make news and even some money...just blurt out the first piece of crap your mind conjures before even it has recuperated from previous night’s alcohol manifested bash.....However, usually the resolutions are for the good as the essence of self-betterment generally outweighs any desire for engaging in unruly mischiefs. My intent isn't to criticize these human behavioural tendencies, even given the fact that most resolutions seldom last longer than the first week.....I am simply amazed by their timely trigger on the advent of every new year....really...If a person wishes to make a change why should he wait for the 1st of a year?...1 isn’t even the luckiest of numbers....What if the person is unfortunate to miss the bus...? The next trial after 52 weeks will only mean lesser hair on his head to accompany him for his promised feat....

So once again, not inclining to reach a biased conclusion I chose the safe route, accepted things in their novel form....and.....began to think.....what kinda resolution I should come up...which is good and which doesn’t force me to quit after a few weeks.....tough job....cuz balancing your thoughts after much brain-storming only dysfunctions your brain and ruins your enthu...after much ado...I settled for finding more reasons to laugh and smile this year than I did last year... ;) (smart workaround ...isn’t it?...nobody but I can prove it wrong)

Recounting another popular new years notion which says if one encounters anything bad or even vaguely unsettling on the 1st then it’s likely to bother him/her through out the year.....heh..mercy shan’t be expected for suffering is ordained....and not so surprisingly instead pretty humanely, this notion is restricted only to bad and ugly events....somehow for the good ones we develop the obvious “matured” understanding that, “Oh come on...Every day can’t be a Sunday”....Oddly true....my dentist once confessed that he never receives any business on the 1st of January...Well, this led me to assess my own experience of 1st January...which I barely happen to remember....except the fact that I reached office pretty late, prepared to face my bosses comments and it turned out that I had satisfactorily met his expectations......the rest of the day, as far as I remember was exceptionally ordinary...although I did enjoy receiving sweet new year wishes.....I only hope this doesn’t affect the profile of my 2010...although, not having to remember much of the day at least helps me conveniently transfer the blame/credit for the events of the year, to the 1st with undoubted certainty :)

So these were the musings of my mind on the first night of this decade....I was badly missing my parents and my bro....as well as my old college friends with whom I if I had partied on new years' eve, I would never have gone through this stuff an posted on my blog...(as I'd still be recovering from the overdose :P)

Wish you all a very bright and cheerful new year...

Friday, 24 April 2009

Prelude To A Kiss


Go Kiss the World might me an invocation to our entrepreneurial wanderlust to elicit the Megallans and Vasco da Gammas amongst us but public kissing, it looks like, will never cease to ruffle a feather or two in India. A professor of psychology at Lafayette College, Pennsylvania, recently extolled the virtue of a lip lock that sparks off a complex chemical surge into the brain making a lover feel excited, happy or relaxed. Dentists say a good kiss prevents tooth decay as it stimulates the flow of saliva while fitness experts state that a long kiss helps to loose weight. A kiss releases adrenaline into the bloodstream and the heart pumps more blood into the body, there by pre-empting chances of heart blocks. By helping tone cheek and jaw muscles and prevent their sagging, the habit of compulsive kissing can hold back ageing. I could not, therefore, help admiring ‘James Belshaw’ and ‘Sophia Severin’, who in 2005 locked their lips-hold on your breath- for 31 hours and 30 minutes to get into the Guinness Book of World Records for the longest kiss ever, at an event in London. But the question is, when does public smooching become taboo?? What is the threshold age for a human being to abdicate his normal right to kiss and be kissed in pubic?? When does the commonest form of showing love and affection morph into a no-go area of carnal passion to be decried in public??

Pity there was such brouhaha over Padmini Kolhapure planting a smooch on the Prince of Whales or Shabana Azmi kissing Nelson Mandela, or the Hollywood actor Richard Gere crooning over Shilpa Shetty only a couple of years ago. Ayatollah Khomeini outlawed kissing even between a man and his wife in Iran while, according to Genesis, God “infused the spirit of life” into a man with a kiss. We are thankful to the Delhi high court for its having dismissed criminal proceedings against a married couple charged with obscenity for allegedly kissing in the public. Ironically, we have no problem in the Roman categories of ‘osculum’ – the kiss of friendship on the face or cheeks and ‘basium’ – the kiss of affection on the lips, though the stricture, it looks like, applies to ‘sauvium’ – the lovers’ kiss of lip-to-lip variety. It is about time our moral brigade became less prudish about such inanities and was more vocal about other obscenities like child labour in India...”


This was an article in the editorial section of the Times of India, labeled under ‘Moral Police’, dated April 24th ’09. There is nothing to feel sheepish about it, what ever it said, made good enough sense to me. Thus, I felt obliged to place it up here, with the noble intension of helping those, who happened to miss it, or, even those who have the habit of re-taking things several times, before they get well settled into their heads.

So...what’s your take on this???

Tuesday, 14 April 2009

How Cheap can your Life get ???

Now, in case you happen to be a sporting enthusiast & you are an Indian albeit a slightly crazy Indian, you can get as cheap as 500 bucks!! Ask how? Read on...

With the International sporting events becoming all too popular in our own cities, a lot of small adventure camps and sport-events organizing firms have cropped up targeting young and ignorant corporate honchos who are more than willing for the drive of ecstasy out of their otherwise lonesome, dolorous busy life.



One such event of ‘Bungee Jumping’ was organized near Banenrghatta National Park, off the city limits of Bangalore. It was conducted by the group ‘Head Rush Bungee’ under the guidance of CARE India. Little, did any one expect that the name ‘Head Rush’ had a pun intended...The group reported some technical issues related to the crane, which was used to elevate the participant up to a height of about 130 ft before the jump.

After facing apparent trouble with the Bungee event, the organizers weren’t in a mood to flinch from the monetary aspect considering the large crowd which had turned up all excited. So, they proposed an alternative- Reverse Bungee Jump, offered at a lesser price of Rs 500/- as compared to Rs 750/- for the Bungee Jump. A couple of trials by one of the organizers, catapulting himself in the air before the cord hanged him to safety. God forbid that son of a gun was lucky!...as the first one who followed...Bhargava a young engineer from TN, had his cord snapped!...and he plummeted head first towards the flat ground...with only a few despairing breaths left in his life.


Now...How are the MoFo organizers responsible...??

1. The Cord Snapped. This is thoroughly unacceptable. It is your goddamned cord to which I am hanging my dear life with, it CANNOT snap at all costs….but it did. Apparently it was getting weakened at one spot and you cared a shit!

2. No safety-net, no cushions and no water! Yea...ready to spend big bucks on that 130 ft crane, but noooo...the pennies, they have to save for their generous bestowment towards poor and the needy of our country...Prioritizing is obviously an ugly disease.

3. No Ambulance, no Doctor and WTF? Not even a First Aid box!!! Now, THAT is called ‘True Confidence’. If your cord snaps or the harness un-hooks, we guarantee, you Die!

4. No License to conduct such an event. Now this one really outraged me...How the hell..??!#$%!! Fck...can people in our country be sooo daringly ignorant???? If I happen to meet you guys someday...just pray that I don’t carry a shot-gun.

5. No NOC from the local police for conducting such an event. Now…when all you have, is nothing but a piece of junk for a crane...then Why...in the name of Merlin’s saggy left bum, you organize such an event?...I blame CARE India for this one, being a reputed firm in this domain it should face some grave charges!

6. Last but certainly not the least...They dared to gloat inextricably on their web site deluding the viewers from the horrifying facts of the game. The registration portal claims the event to be extremely safe, ushered by med assists, supervised by trained professionals and certified by the regulatory and safety boards...which if any case happens to be true? Then the author of this post will not spare them from being gratified as cheap, low-lying saprophytic dung-licking MoFo.

I didn’t suffer from anything, but I have my anger justified when I say, these son of a bitch organizers should have their balls clobbered with a sledge hammer just after slicing their spleen...because, it could just have been...ME or even my friend.

I and my room mate HSG had registered for the event pretty excitedly a week before. We were offered the same Reverse Bungee alternative and allotted the same batch timing during which the tragedy had occurred. Lucky we both had a stupid altercation a few days back upon which my friend objected to go and being enraged I decided to leave him behind for good and proceed alone. As it happened (God knows how and why) we managed to have a sort-of patch up the same morning, on which he offered me to come along on his bike for the event. But owing to bitter memories of the last few days we both ultimately called it off, just like that, thinking, there is always next time!!....and went to play badminton instead.

Dad broke the news early next morning as it appeared in the front page of Sunday Times. I was sorry to find my parents so much worried...but, at the same time felt eternally blessed :D

After having said and done so much, there was a feeling of renewed sense of life which called for a celebration...and we did in Grand style! :D ;)


This brings us to the lessons which you ought to learn!

1. If you ever wana enjoy sporting events such as these? Then remember!.....India is the place where you come back and brag about it!

2. Always be prepared to back out no matter how exciting the plan may seem. (as, in this case I know I wouldn’t have backed out for sure, once I had reached the destination...and after watching a few people perform, it would have been impossible)

3. Intuitions are for real! If not trust them then at least consider their possibility in mind and be prepared.(Having more than one instance in my life made me point this out here)

4. It is sometimes good to get into a stupid fight...after all you fight with the ones you like!

Thursday, 12 February 2009

Dev D-fied !!

Although a great and very frank movie but this one disappointed me slightly...probably a 5 star critics rating had raised my expectations to enormous extents...that I found the film dragging a bit and becoming monotonous in the second half. A non smoker and non-drinker would definitely get bored and probably could hardly be able to make a deeper connection with the movie :P As in most of the movie the protagonist, Devender Singh Dhillon, (Abhay Deol) keeps wandering around the much coveted streets of Delhi in search of a body or soul to quench his thirst for sexual desires and at the same time, simply satisfy his deep rooted feelings towards paro, by actually not indulging in the act, being always drunk and heavily drugged, seen on a high 24x7!!

The reason why I got a little disappointed was because I could not find much conviction in Dev D’s character to relate it to the various extremities he traverses through his life...If the character was supposed to have gone through all that for nothing? Then in my impression Dev D was a weak character altogether...cuz screwing up ure ass to such enormous extents by your very own hands...is kind of bizarre foolishness...none the less, I can still guarantee you a fantastic time if you watch this movie out with friends or in a group. For best results, go on a week-end, preferably to a posh locality (as we did, last Saturday)...cuz with the “crowd” in the vicinity, you come out big and gloating :P :D

The first half of the movie is awesome...As all the characters are introduced by throwing a flashlight at their past. This takes you to a rhapsodic yet an emotionally gripping ride, meticulously coupled with deeply impacting sound tracks. Mahi Gill has played a typical Modern Delhi girl...a character, which I don’t think there is a need to describe in words :)Her character has all the traits of a typical dehlite-punjaban and she’s has portrayed it flawlessly...

Abhay Deol was no doubt excellent in the movie. His normalcy and calmness brings about a different kind of frankness in his attitude which was brilliantly casted in his role. His arrogance yet acceptance of his highly neurotic state is a cool combination...Unlike the previous Dev Dasses, this one particularly had the patience of pausing for an occasional smile...much at his own plight. Amongst his other austerely cool ways of doing things was, the way he used to walk in casually, roll up the Rizla(paper) and prepare a joint...jus like that!!

Now coming to the best feature of the film-it's "sound tracks". The songs are simply amazing!!! All of them.In case you have not seen the picture then also I gurantee that you will like a few of them, but after watching the movie, you will just fall in love with the kind of music, all the songs are composed with. The music style has its roots rather primitive, having a taste of “thet Marwadi/northIndian Hindi” in terms of lyrics and as well as background composition but are marvelously blended with modern rock and beats...with an occasional touch of trans the phenomena.

Out of all, Emosional Atyachaar (both live as well as rock version...thogh rock version really roxx!!!), Nayan Tarase, Pardesi, Sali Khushi, Duniya Badi Gol, Aankh Micholi, Ek hulchul Si, are my fav!...I found the rest of them also to be good in a way because they were situational and very well versed with the story...apart from having a touch of spice in them. :D

From his movie, director Anurag Kashyap highlighted the famous DPS MMS Scandal...and the victim of the scandal ultimately evolves into the character of ‘Chandramukhi’, who is named as ‘Chanda’ in this film...'Kalki Koechlin', as far as I know- a new face, has contributed to this role...Although I did not find her acting to be very impressive but still, her appearance satisfactorily justified her role...

Another one of the incidents, if we recollect...where the son of some Army big-shot had crashed his BMW and killed four people sleeping on the streets, has been utilized shrewdly by Kashyap in light of the creating that ray of hope for our man Dev D, to cling onto, so as to come out of his despairing state of affairs. He ultimately he does that, but only after he gets another big jerk of the sorts...

That’s one of the differences which you may find amazing in this modern version of Dev Das saga. Our new Dev Das actually never really wanted to die out of disparity...lol...What I could infer from the movie was that he considered sex and vodka as the safest refuge from the hassles of his love life...now in a way that’s kinda cool!! :P Ultimately he realizes that ‘Chanda’ is the one, who can shower angelic love which he was desperately searching for or rather which he ought to be desperately searching for :P...so, in the end he grabs the new funtie and scurries away with her... :D

All in all...a great movie, different from the usual. Though not going with the critic's rating given by Times, I personally rate it around 3.5 to 4 stars...on a 5 point scale.

P.S. - A word of advice- Drinking heavily under dim lights and listening to Trans Music or even Dev D’s songs, immediately after watching the movie is not advisable. Your own love-life, even if all flowery can seem to look awfully dungy...it’s an experienced voice that is cautioning you...lol... ;) :P jus kidding...the songs simply rock!!!(otherwise) :D over all guys....Do Watch!!!!

Ciao...

Saturday, 7 February 2009

Why did Mammoths perish ???

Here we are talking about Mammoths...yea the same 'M' lettered Big-Shot who used to roam around naked, scaring every one, until few years back... We all know, who they really were and what they were capable of…but, did any one of us ever thought why did they become extinct??? Even the researchers aren’t convinced with the available evidence for their sudden extinction (‘wiki’ doesn’t know too). Not that we care, but still worth a thought...




Well...here is a possible theory!

They were mentally too sick and tired of their lives…to an extent that, they did not have to get any inspiration from Dev D, or even had the need to watch RGV’s AAG…Their life sucked big time! It was this sickening feeling which emanated from deep within and kept on proliferating from fellow mates and one very fine day they could not stand it any more...so....


They all committed suicide!





Now you may ask why their lives were so despairing ???

Here are a few reasons as to why-

1. No Sex!!! Yep, that’s a real big blow…look at the image…they could do nothing more than scratch each others ass with that big tusk…(probably that’s how they developed that curvature)…I mean where the hell will you create contact ???

2. No Foreplay and fun- again owing to their massive tusks…performing oral is out of their dreams!! Poor fellows could only restrict themselves to sniffing…now that’s SAD

3. Tiresome, cant Sit and Rest- Again their big tusks proved to be much of a pain in the ass…for which sitting could only be possible by bending their hind legs yet keeping their front ones straight….there you have it....a perfect posture to develop a back ache! Aur shot laga liya

4. Sleep Deprived- Imagine with that outwardly pointing tusks, how on earth could they have managed to lie down and sleep??? The only position that I can think of is by lying down and facing up towards the sky…Now a 10 ton giant to get up from that position without hurting his teeth? You gotta be kidding...

5. Reproduction- How did they reproduce???? The above points already screw up the fun part in the process, yet if they had to? Then I believe we can have 2 possible cases-
a) If they reproduced like mammals, then owing to the above mentioned discrepancies, the fetal point would have to be somewhere outside the two mating bodies…now that is a disgrace for the poor baby mammoth, unaware of his parents’ nonchalance.
b) Else, If the mother mammoth lays an egg, (neglecting all the possible means of how she would be able to) then it would be hideously painful for her to shove an egg out of her (which ever)organ, obviously owing to its two protruding pointed little baby tusks. Ooouch!…no wonder she’ll hate the baby before it is even born :P

6. Insecurity Complex- Although every one would have been scared of their large tusks, but Mammoths knew how useless they were. And this fact used to kill their confidence from inside…That’s because they were stupidly curved, they could only be used as a wall to shied their trunk in combat…They could hardly use it for piercing the opponent or to rip them apart. I have a feeling that at a later point in time, all the animals had come to realize this fact and had harassed them.

7. Racial Discrimination- They would have seen their other(later evolved) family counterparts-Elephants, nicely mingling with humans, as elephants provided added bounties like carrying logs, transportation and easy to handle figure. Considering the bona-fide human quality of bribing and showing partiality, Elephants would have increased their mockery of their own ancient ancestors. Poor souls...

8. Load- As a fact of dental science, approximately a third of our teeth is exposed and two-thirds of the whole lies inside, creating a solid foundation. Now look at this poor fellow’s case? With each tooth, easily weighing over 50 pounds and hanging by a weak support (check out its fossil remains you think I am wrong), ye kahan ka nyaay hai ??? It can get really nasty if a monkey happens to play around and accidentally loosen the hinges...the pain can melt his balls!

9. No Social Life- Hardly a place suitable for them to hang out with their buddies. They can’t go for a swim on the beach, nor trekking or hiking with that load. Forests could lead their tusks getting entangled...too much pain already. For Wooly-Mammoths who used to live in all snowy environments, they were hardly able to enjoy the snow! Skiing would be disastrous, because ten tons of a load on mother earth, if fallen, can only bring about an avalanche. Alas, Beer was not invented; otherwise they would have at least had a chance :)


So that’s what brought about the sad end of these creatures…Respond to this valuable finding earnestly, I may propose it further upon your approval :P

Source of Inspiration: Me and my roomie, Harpreet, were watching Lions in Discovery Channel yesterday. From there we got in to a discussion about whose social life is more worse…whether a Lion’s or a Tiger’s ?....We then went on to Cougars then Saber-tooth…and we finally ended up on Mammoths :D Useful inputs were provided by him too, in context of this valuable finding.

Thursday, 5 February 2009

Birthday bash.....

Its been long, that I have not done justice to my beloved readers….If I had been a Shakespeare or a Tolkien or a McCarthy etc, I wouldn’t have given a shit before using that line…..bah!, but the fact remains, I never got time to update my blog in the recent past…This being the first post since then, I am assuming your benign patience :P Well….with no better topic in mind, I thought I’d rather pen down the affairs of the most wonderful day so far this year, which happened to be my birthday! :)

Starting off…from the previous night, I was badly pissed for a lot of reasons, had a really long n tiring day in the office, slogging my ass off…I had to stay back later than usual, so eventually I missed the last shuttle of the day by hours…

My cubicle mate, Uday cancelled his dinner plans with his roomies & chose to drop me home on his bike at around 11 in the night. I decided to treat him, for which he accepted only on account of my on coming birthday…Boy! that was some dinner, a typical Andhraite cuisine, we had their special ‘all-rice’ meals. He being an andhraite we went to Nandhini Hotel, famous for its Andhra-style delicacy…

On the way back home, I realized it was not long…and desperately wished if it was somehow possible to postpone my birthday by a couple of weeks. Not holding any expectations what so ever, the only wish I had, was to be able to spare some good amount of time so that I can speak to my family whole heartedly…But guess!, I was in for quite a surprise... not just one but a series of surprises :)

Hmmm…as I entered the house I found one of my office friends - Nitin, already sitting inside with Varun (my room mate cum project mate) and his elder bro Ashu was busy on his own….I was actually glad to see him, but since my ambiance was reflecting sardonic monotone since long, I chose to remain quite, casual & as-a-matter-of-fact-ish. Harpreet had to follow support timings and Rohit (another room mate) works on shifts, both were no where to be seen…

Suddenly around 11:50 Sardaar(a.k.a Harpreet) made an entry carrying 5 bottles of beer…looked at me casually and said…

”sab log busy the, aur late aaye….sare shops band ho chuke the to cake nahi mila…I could not help it, isi se kaam chala le”

I said….fine, no issues at all….a stress buster was more than anything that I needed at that time….I went into my bed room to change, then right as the clock struck 12 I heard voices outside in the hall, turned around, saw a hint of Rohit’s shirt (he had come down from the office asking an early leave for the day)

Next moment…….

I was being laundered!!...literally, the noise was worse than what you will find in ‘dhobi ghat’…5 people on a rampage, beating me with stuff I could never have imagined in my dreams…there were Rods, Chappals, Hangers, Skipping rope and I was even threatened by a Leather hunter…Well It was hard to fathom if they were expressing their immense love or relishing their long held desire to even things out, wonderfully disguised by the occasion…Rohit particularly mentioned…”Main to nahi chodunga sale pade ko…bahut maraya hoon me tere birthday ke liye” Damn!…from that moment, I decided, the only day I’ll most eagerly await will be my room mates’ birthdays!!.....

After about 30 minutes of bashing and running around the house, when they finally realized that they might have equaled if not exceeded the count, compared to the total count of beatings, I would have taken in my history of 23 years, I gasped for some breadth…only to find myself running bare feet on the road, the very next moment…

Imagine….12 30 at night at a very peaceful residential locality, running out like mobsters…Things were fine till I was chasing Rohit with the bottle of sprite but it gets a bit nasty if you have a Sardaar wild in hot pursuit, in the middle of the night, holding a bottle of beer and madness struck in his mind…I had accepted it looong before it went over me…

Next when we returned home, I found they had brought the cake as well :)….It was kept safe at our owner’s refrigerator…Then went on the usual cake cutting ceremony followed by a 'cake-body-massage'…No wonder I enjoyed purposely falling over Harpreet’s mattress with beer, sprite and cake laden clothes…That was by far the best part of the night! :D :D

(from left- Nitin, Varun, Rohit, Me and Sardaar...Ashu took the pic)


We wrapped up later with having beer & sutta at our usual hangout, the front parking space of the house before we went to sleep…

The next day I woke up early, took sardaar’s bike and went up to the temple as promised to my dear mum…Immediately after that I received their blessings on the phone…already rejuvenated and happy, before ending the call, my ‘Pa’ asked me to check for a courier in the office…wow more surprises!!!

Upon reaching office, little did I expect that my mail box will be loaded with Birthday wishing mails :) Some unknown people, some of whom I wouldn’t have spoken more than a word in the entire year, had actually bothered to take some time out to send in their warm wishes…May be it shows the power of MindTree’s ‘bench strength’, but still I wouldn’t have done that just for anybody…

Next big surprise, my PM came to my desk around 12 in the noon, to hug and kiss me good bye!! :) He confirmed my release and added he doesn’t want the authorities to bite hiss ass questioning, if I were to be found working there again :) :)

And I did not waste a split second, getting moved by the emotions of the moment, immediately messaged Sardaar n Rohit to stop all the shit they were busy with and book the tickets, cuz we were goin to GOA!!!!! They responded to my SOS with more conviction than expected and quickly explored all the possible options of jugaad …travel agents, on-line sites, jack through somebody’s contact etc…

In the afternoon, I checked out the dispatch dept for my courier and found a lovely T-shirt awaiting me in the parcel. I have always loved my bro’s choice…:) and I thanked god that the day couldn’t have any been better…..but I guess it had more in store for me…

I continued with my work, and at around 5 :30 a mail popped up from Varun. It was sent to the entire team. This is exactly what it read…

“Let us all gather together at Phase 3 cafeteria to celebrate Devar’s Birthday….Bring along with you what ever tool and stuff you can get…sticks, woodland shoes etc etc… to ensure a happening time :)“

Dang!!! No sooner did I finish reading it, every one had already started. It was so sincerely planned and immaculately timed…that it made our project look shamelessly secondary before the cause :P …I was probably carrying the most austerely dumb expression of a happy fool over my face, not able sink in the reality of the moment as I had never expected anything like this, especially considering the kind of atmosphere that was prevailing in the recent days. I was vaguely aware of people murmuring around the way up, either patting my back or warming their hands in a threatening gesture, while I was struggling hard to keep myself calm, composed & again, as-a-matter-of-fact-ish…For those who do not know how my project runs, things like these, never happen, even our PM confronted Varun asking the reason for this partiality :) (Thanks bro.. :))

Well…it happened…more than 50 people had gathered, 2 large cakes were cut, some went over my body for which I too tried to retaliate although it was hard to do while sustaining that gentleman-ly behavior… Then as per the tradition I got loads on my bum...(for a moment Varun had forgotten he had a lingament tear in one of his legs..), then PM handed me a MindTree table clock, and a Birthday Card signed by the entire team…. it was all fun…(except for the Bum bashing part...)

The last one......came as a conformation-of-tickets mail at around 7 :30 PM, Rohit got the tickets arranged; he booked for both onward and return from Goa…finally!!!! :D ... it was decided....and nothing separated that delightful moment except for a few hours wait that’s it!...

The rest of the day was spent over the phone as calls kept coming in tandem from either relatives or friends….

So…that’s how the day ended…I only wish it keeps on getting better in the years to come…. ;) :P

P.S.- I’d like to dedicate this post to all those who helped to make this day such a memorable one…Love u all…

Devar…

Monday, 2 June 2008

NarcistiC CogniZance....

Thy world may be in peril

Don’t live in Haste…

Life generously bestows,

unless you care to taste!


You’ve craved for it,

with beseeching eyes!

What all you expected…

got nothing but lies.


So what? If not green!

The grass is still….

Until you scoop it,

Regret, you never will…


The immaculate sun,

and refulgent light!!!

How can you jus give up,

Without even a fight???


That mouse is awed!

sinking deep in milk…

which buttered its way out,

with the power of its will.


So, absolve thy self….

triumphing the supreme!

Whisper like breath of success,

quite mystique yet serene…


In aeternum!, follow thy heart,

Let it sing and sway…. :D

Plethora of joy and happiness

will sparkle all your way...(",)


Friday, 11 April 2008

Ex - Bangalored!!!!

I used to think, I, being a true ‘Mumbaite’, one who eats, sleeps, talks and even breathes Mumbai; often hung over by the premonition that I will never be able to dig my nest in any foreign land, other than ‘Amchi Mumbai’….but to no avail, I was proved wrong, as I recount my days spent in Bangalore, which is sometimes rightly believed to be a “Bachelors’ Paradise”

And especially, it being my first time away from home and that too with the added responsibility of work and the abundance of liberty made it more exciting for a super lethargic moron who hated responsibilities n considered sincerity as a sinister or ugly disease.

We can often speak about “been there, done that” but what I want to recount in this post is some of the small yet wonderful instances of our lives in Bangalore which made it quite fun filled and memorable….

The ten things which used to make my day!!!!

1) Wee hours…cacophony!
Well getting up was the most dreadful part of the life back then. Wrapped up in a shell of blankets n what so ever available to make up for the bitter cold winter mornings, the alarm bell used to give the most distraught feeling, as the dreamily subconscious mind was aware, somewhere in its deep corner, that the bloody clock is gona ring any minute!!
Alas, sleep was always so welcoming just after u’ve slammed the alarm down. To somehow beat the early morning desperation for sleep, we placed the alarm clock high up the shelf, thinking that it would require enough effort to shut it down, that I can manage to resist my good old soft bed and the beautiful sleep, but to no avail, one very fine day, as I rose to shut the alarm….”Whaam!!!”…….. I turned around and answered to my other half awake room mates…”Well…great!, no more clock!!!” and……we headed back to sleep….Luckily, Himanshu never came to know how d ruddy hell did his clock break when he came back from his home visit :P

2) Say, ‘Rise n Shine’ to your partner!
Goarn!....Have to give up sleep and make up my bed… :(
Now comes the pearl of the day!....Finding an occasional cockroach idling under your bed covers….yawning, and probably gaping at you….annoyed by the sudden exposure to light…cursing u with all his might!, to have woken him up so early. . . .
Whoa!......and people talk about human encroachment!


3) Gay time with the Geyser!
Well…no body actually fancied getting up early in the morning and running straight down to bath, much to the likes of the crazy geyser. The first person used to be in for a boiling steamy prickle, so that half of the hot water used to get wasted only to avoid the heat and the other half while gingerly trying to adjust it with the cold water tap…
And for others…..well what d’u know?!!! No more hot water for anybody else!!!!......as the stupid geyser took an eternity to heat up the fresh water again! Crap!!! All you can do is muter curses under your shivered breath while the running water sends a chill through your spines…. :)

4) A wise guy! Aye???.......U shout up at the sky.
As the time carries on and you bathroom sing, the 9Xm is running in the background, things are looking cool. After a few banging on the door by fellow room mates, crying for the paucity of time, feared that it will eventually burst open, you come out. You check out for the clothes drying outside only to realize your shitty luck and bizarre amazement that they are much wetter than how you had left them after wrenching them hard the previous day! You wonder…
“Shit happens, but this is holy shit!!” on some occasions it is followed by ‘deep shit’, when you realize that a friendly pigeon or crow had a nice time cozying up on your shirt with its droppings nicely patterned on your precious clothes…….doesn’t matter you concentrate harder on the song that is being played on the 9Xm. :)

5) Fire in the mountain Run! Run! Run!
While Harpreet has pleaded someone to iron his shirt which generally mercifully accepted by Varun, Kedar hits d panic button giving us a fake alarm in the form of a miss call that the cab has arrived! Varun responds for the call and makes a beeline to it. While I and Harpreet, both born with the exceptional skill for time calculation and manipulation, force that we may still make it, even if the crooked watch is made faster. A couple of miss calls and then a final call which makes the Clock Tower in our minds strike hard!!!
…Next moment……
We are panting! With bag in one hand, and belt, I-card, watch and mobile dangling from the other, the shoe laces, playing with the wind, precariously avoiding your feet, while they are pumping and your eyes are fixed on the cab!!!(Discreet, yet I am aware honey is running along close by, this thought butters your burnt toast adding taste to your life:))

6) Being the ‘Apple of the Eye’
No sooner do we hop in the bus…all eyes scathingly X-ray us…with an occasional look of disgust and snort they used to be withdrawn, as sleazily as they had groped us before. Finding ol’George (our mate) and wish him good morning was the easiest way of avoiding discomfort :D But mind you a lot goes in for our poor friend Varun…as, he took in a lot of rubbish for always making the bus wait for us! Kudos to him, we saved our asses a lot of times :)

7) Oh...dear me!....I got a wrinkle!!!
Aah…Now as our dear friend honey was having a merry time with Mindtree’s pretty ladies…we all got into the habit of having a maquillage done in the bus. Alas, it used to be a 45 minutes journey, so why not a lil tidying up?? ;) lol….seated in the last so as to avoid surprised gazes, we used to have our make up done quite discreetly….completing the unfinished stuff while we left from home till applying moisturizer and hair gel. Finally emerging out of the bus as ‘Dudes’….
Make way MindTree, cuz Here we Come!! :D


8) Daze…..at the office
The day used to be full of new things….new people and new encounters. Altough there was a slight discouragement in the use of the phrase “Kannada Baralla or Gothilla” yet things used to be welcoming as soon we realized we could get almost everything done by the use of one simple word – “madi”. :) We felt a new freedom, freedom to enjoy eating what ever we want to eat! For the first time in my life I was eating so many chocolates in a day!!! :D :D The free time spent used to be simply awesome! Playing scrabble, pictionary or taboo was fun and if not then we would just team up and combat against each other with gritted teeth and vehement concentration on a CZ clan, never to relinquish or accept defeat. No wonder in a couple of months’ time we all made hundreds of friends, departing from them was agonizingly dolorous :(


9) The awesome ‘Bum Massage’
While this was an extra feature that we were esteemed with, courtesy- MindTree’s Swaraj Mazda shuttle service. The 40 seater mini buses had a pathetic rear suspension; more worse was the fact that the Bangalore roads were deprived of speed breakers; instead you could find rumblers (a series mini speed breakers placed closed to each other). The road, withered because of the heavy traffic, used to take a wavy form n any one sitting at the back was in for a bumpy ride. The driver, vaguely aware of the distant ramblings at the back, carries on but you are skeptical whether your insides have been disembodied and rolled over and your stomach gets churned to make up lasagna of the food u had last eaten!

10) Nighttime Tranquility
As the birds serenade their way back, the day draws to an end, our innocent minds used to be filled with exuberant thoughts about the new experiences and events of the day. I, Honey and Varun (room mates) then set along to have sum nice homely dinner complemented with a juice or a chai form the usual roadside tappri, not giving each other a moment to speak while we all recount the happenings of our day. Being too judgmental in nature was an inbred disease so that gossiping came natural to me and honey ;) and our frequencies matched to such an amazing extent that things used to be better understood without spoken words. Cribbing about gals at office was one thing, but suddenly gossiping about them the very next instant was rather usual. At night, gazing the starry sky, cuddled atop the roof, daring the chilly wind, having the conversation of the life time, four friends, who all had a recent transformation in their lives – distantly aware about the insecurities of this new world and the fact that life now demanded more responsibility – yet engrossed with teenage ‘cakes and ale’, very raw, yet accepting :)


TV and carom used to be the best remedy to swarm out the nostalgia and hurtle us back to enjoy the present! Apart from that, we all used to be game, for pulling each others legs, clicking weird snaps, bemusing over kannada names….which all, I rather enjoyed as I used to loose pathetically at carom...


Things did not change much, even when we moved to our new rented house at ‘Jayanagar’. Out of the initial ten days when we used the shuttle service, we (I and Harpreet) were only able to catch it twice. The daily agenda was grabbing an auto till ‘Devegauda petrol pump’ where we would hurriedly catch some Mindtree shuttle awaiting at the signal, which being the longest running signal. The occasional hunt for a new place to dine and party out on Thursdays had become habitual. Soon we were joined by Rohit and Sunil to live along with us, as my departure to Chennai was confirmed. The remaining days were spent blissfully, enjoying the maximum possible. We used to reach office comfortably at 9 30, neatly dressed, very relaxed albeit lethargically numbed, when we used to get out of Sunil’s car, rather appearing as if each one of us owned an IT company for himself :P

I will surely miss having spent quality time there in Bangalore, having made so many friends and having enjoyed life with them, for all the trips we went to, for all the parties or hangouts….Alas! Some one great has rightly said-

“With good ol’ friends to the valley of joy, these days will never last.
For, life is to move ahead, with lingering reminisces of the past! “

- De’ Varshi Code

Ah! Well…who cares????? I find Chennai as rocking too! :P

P.S. – “Bakki theek Hai”